Sparkle, my little dog, came to live with my late husband Dan and me after his first cancer. It was esophageal cancer and its low survival rate was a visceral threat to his survival. But Dan made it for another 5 years, a feat I attribute in part to Sparkle. Her sweet personality, charm and big innocent eyes got Dan up and moving. He delighted in having her sit on his lap for hours, petting her soft curly fur. She knew she owned him—all she had to do was yip or vocalize and he was on his feet, taking her for one of their legendary walks. It was nothing for the two of them to walk for an hour at time, even in the suffocating heat of a Florida summer. Along the way, Dan would meet other people with dogs and chat. He’d come home, excited to share what he called “dog-walker community” gossip. Yes, Sparkle was a key to his recovery and survival. Then the other cancer reared it’s ugly head and he died 8 months later. But the 5 years he lived, and even the last months of his life, were made richer by the presence of Sparkle in our lives.
Now, seven years later, Sparkle has entered a new phase in her life. She appears to be suffering from “doggie dementia,” a real condition called Canine Cognitive Dysfunction. It first manifested itself when she stopped eating (one of Sparkle’s favorite activities), and then became listless. I was alarmed when I noticed her sitting with her back to me staring at the wall. She stopped playing with her favorite squeaky toy, a talent she had perfected over the years, and ignored people we’d meet on our walks. It was obvious something was wrong. I wondered if she had had a stroke. Upon doing a very easy Google search, I found the information I needed. And it was unsettling. After consulting with her Vet, Dr. Rich, we decided to try her on a supplement to hopefully slow the deterioration.
Now I watch as she becomes more diminished every day. Some days it doesn’t feel like a big deal. After all, she still enjoys her walks, eats well, and is sweet. But gone is the playful little girl who liked to toss and squeak her toys, get too many treats and shamelessly approach perfect strangers for affection. She is still a good natured, loving dog, but becoming a shadow of her former self.
Of course, like all creatures, she is aging. And there is a natural tendency to slow down. We see it in ourselves and others—and now I have a front row seat watching Sparkle enter her decline. I knew this would be difficult, and there are moments when I feel deeply saddened by these changes. As with any decline, human or in a beloved pet, we are faced with how powerless we actually are, and reminded that in many ways, life happens.
I hope Sparkle can hang on for a few more years—she’s a small dog, and they usually have longevity. But when the time comes, I pray that I will have to courage to ease her way over the “rainbow bridge.”
Meanwhile I wonder, where is Sparkle?
Beautifully written Kathy! It is so sad that we sometimes have to stand by and watch our loved ones, whether human or animal, deteriorate before our eyes. Hopefully she will have a few more good times before she passes.
Sad but loving story, Kathy, about both Dan and Sparkle.
Thank you for your response. this is an issue I’m dealing with and Dan being part of it does complicate everything.
Oh Kathy, that was a tearjerker! I remember well when you got Sparkle and how much she meant to Dan and you. She was always such a sweetie and everyone loved her! I know you will treasure what ever time is left and give her extra hugs along the way. Our precious fur-babies are truly family!
How sad to see this in your beloved pet and know that you will see variations of it in your friends and family too in their later years. For myself, I think about scaling back and making my life activities more manageable. Wait, I think, I’m only 70 and planning to live to 90 or longer. There’s a lot of living to do and I don’t want to give up on activities too soon.
Perfectly put Kathy. Sparkle is fortunate to have you help her glide out of life.
Thank you. Loving any creature has a price.
This makes me so sad. It’s hard to love creatures that age so quickly.
Thank you for your comment. It is heartbreaking to realize that we will love forever, but our physical life ends.
Your story about Sparkle is very touching and brings back memories of our Pepper whom we lost several years ago. I also can connect personally with aging issues. I hope Sparkle has more happy years with you. There is a current movie out based on a book called “The Art of Racing in the Rain” that I enjoyed on Sunday. The main character is a dog and his voice within his head is done by Kevin Costner. It might be somewhat sad for you, but it might also be touching and inspiring to comfort you in knowing if Sparkle must leave you, she might also still be with you. Wishing you both all my best.