When I was at a new doctor’s office a few days ago, I mentioned to the nurse that I had a very severe case of COVID-19 at the beginning of the Pandemic in 2020. She smiled at me and said, “That was a long time ago. Covid is over!”
I was, as the Brits say, gobsmacked!
My first thought was that Covid would never be over for me.
It’s not like a cold where you get sick, lay around the house for a few days, and then—voila! You’re all better and memories of the cold fade.
It’s more like losing a limb or having cancer or dementia.
You are reminded of it daily.
Like when you try to do too much in one day and end up exhausted. Or when you try to walk as fast as your friends, and you’re breathless. When the memories of the 30 days you spent in a paralytic coma filter into your mind. When someone reminds you that you came close to death six times. When a memory from the six months you spent in institutions pops up while you’re making toast. And especially when you think that maybe you should have given up and died.
Or when you try to be friends with the woman with whom your significant other had an emotional affair—while you were struggling to learn to walk and swallow again. Or when your family gently reminds you that even a cold can be serious now and that you have to be vigilant.
When you realize that you will never snorkel again. When your partner asks if you could get onto a catamaran for a sunset cruise and you know that you couldn’t. When you make plans to fly somewhere and have to arrange for wheelchair service.
When you try to carry a basket of laundry to the washer and have a breathless struggle to get it there. When you get up to walk across the room and must reach for the ever-present walker. Upon seeing pictures from a solo trip from a few years ago—before Covid. When you read about the startling number of cases of Covid even now and the deaths that result from it.
When you see pictures of lungs damaged from Covid. And especially when your doctor tells you that you have irreversible lung damage, too.
Do I fret about these things? No. It’s part of my life now—restrictions that are a direct result of my Covid battle. I’m still on a journey to live the best life I can and appreciate all I can do while honoring my struggle.
But it scares me to think that a medical professional would say that Covid was over. We still need to be careful and be ready for the next version of Covid and the wave of sickness that will inevitably follow it.
Sadly, for me, Covid is not over. It will always be a part of who I am—and who I was before.
Kathy, this is a powerful commentary. It touched me deeply and I feel it will do the same to all who read it. You should send this out to publications like the NYTIMES and the Orlando Sentinel so it can reach a broader segment and make an impact on more people’s lives.
Excellent piece on the effects of your covid struggle and the sad reaction of some, even in the medical field, to the ongoing and forever covid issues. This is a piece that you should submit to a contest. It’s very personal and emotional.
As always Kathy, you write so well. not just well, but I can feel your ‘journey’. WE are experiencing a wave of covid here in MA. It is NOT OVER!
Kathy, I missed this blog post. And it is such an important one! How rude and insensitive for that nurse to say that to you. I talk about you a lot to my friends when serious illnesses and Covid long term effects are mentioned. You truly are my hero! Not only did you withstand 60+ days intubated, but you had to learn all those skills again. And now you have limitations which you graciously face daily. I admire you, I honor you, and I appreciate all your hard work and efforts. I know I am not alone. Don’t let one ignorant person, spoil your attitude or make you think that we all do not know what you are going through. Keep up the great job! You have lots of cheerleaders and supporters who are there for you!
Much love to you always, Bonnie.❤️🙏❤️🙏
I am so sorry that the nurse did not know your history and be more supportive. I remember. I remember your daily struggles and your bravery.
The home health visits with you are a good memories for me. I am sure they are mixed memories for you. I have had to recover from an accident last fall. I had a broken right ankle and cracked left upper arm bone and had to use a wheelchair then walker then do P.T. This fall I’ve had a pinched nerve with limited activities and chiropractor for lumbar decompression and will be P.T. again after next week.
I think of you as one of the brave determined people I’ve had the honor to know. I am a witness to how you persevered! You and others gave me inspiration that aging with setbacks can be done with faith and grace. Thank you.
Thank you, Lynn. Your comments touched me deeply. I appreciate you very much and I was certainly blessed to have you as my nurse.