Christmas is upon us—again. I’m trying, God knows, to feel the Christmas spirit, but it is eluding me.
I want desperately to celebrate and enjoy the holiday season and all of its trappings: glittery ornaments, happy songs, gifts, Christmas trees, decorated houses. (Notice I left cookies off this list—I have no trouble enjoying them!)
I’ve heard all of the advice—you need new Christmas traditions, you need to focus on the positive, do for others, (which I’ve done), and you need to let go of the memories that hold you back.
Too bad it isn’t that easy.
The harsh reality is that Christmas will never be the same for me now that my husband is gone.
And dreaming up new traditions seems to be daunting right now.
Strangely, this feeling come upon me full force after what was supposed to be the start of a “new tradition.” (Isn’t that phrase an oxymoron?)
I attended a spectacular Christmas show at a local church the other night. A show that is famous in Orlando for the singing and the extravagance of the production.
It was all that—200 massed voices, all on key, singing favorite carols while perching in the branches of two gigantic Christmas trees. Meanwhile, an actor portrayed a harried director who doesn’t get the real meaning of Christmas—only to discover it before the end of the show. There was a recreation of the Biblical Creation story, complete with life sized elephant and giraffe puppets. Children danced, sang, and were incredibly sweet.
Yes, all the elements were there…
But I came home feeling even emptier.
Now I’m dragging myself through the season, trying to find something to cling to in order to make this a Christmas to celebrate.
So, I’m heading to snowy, cold Buffalo hoping to find the meaning of Christmas in the arms of my family.
Kathy, I hope the love of family, and the children make Christmas special for you.
I miss having children around, and seeing it all through their eyes. That total delight is so precious. I hope all the little joys add up to some happiness for you.
Have a safe trip. Let me know when you get home. <3 Cindy
Kathy,
You’re certain to find comfort surrounded by your welcoming, loving family; and Adalyn and Donovan may even spark some joy. I hope you feel Dan’s presence, helping you create a few new memories. Travel safe and enjoy the cold & snow!
Lindsay
Family is the answer
. That is why I go up north for the last 12 holidays Seeing the Christmas miracle through little eyes is beautiful ! MERRY Christmas KATHY!
I hear you. Maybe for me, the cookies are enough.
Maybe by this time in our lives, the accumulated sorrows overshadow our perspective of life. We may not have the joyfulness that children have in the season, but need to find some contentment in occasions like you experienced. Be in the moment.
My heart weeps for you. I’m praying that as the days pass, the Christmas spirit finds you. May the peace and comfort that is Christmas encompass you as you visit with family. Tell yourself that you’ll find it and ask God to help you. You know your hubby is with you in spirit and wants you to be happy. Do it for him. Do it for you. God bless you, my friend.
I feel bad for your ’emptiness’, but perhaps being ‘home’ will kindle a bit of joy that the season brings.
You will find it in Buffalo with your family!
Sometimes all the commercialism pulls us all down.
I then try to focus on giving and doing for others, which I believe is the true meaning of Christmas anyway.
There are so many needy people here at Solivita – ones who are lonely and sick and need some cheer. Try bringing them a holiday sweet treat and it will make you feel better!
I delivered homemade muffins on Sunday to several “sick” friends and it was a great day!
I love Bonnie’s advice. Getting older brings some moments of depression.
That’s when I send cards, little gifts or visit someone. That lifts the spirits of the giver and receiver.
It is all easy to say when I still have my spouse.
Kathy, it is OK to grieve and fell sorry for yourself because the Christmas Holidays can be lonely for singles. It is good to vent your feelings too. The low points in our lives get us ready for the upward climb to fulfillment and happiness.
Go enjoy your family in Buffalo. Soon you will be involved in all their activities and your spirits will be revived.
Blessings for your Good Health and Happiness in 2015!
Love,
Bobbi and Al Mastrangelo
Kathy,
It’s been a privilege getting to know you better over the past year at book club. I hope you have a wonderful trip and a merry Christmas with your family…and that you don’t get snowed-in up in the “cold country.” Remember, I lived in Kenmore near Buffalo for a year and a half…Minneapolis for several years…and also in Chicago. I know what it is like.
Hugs, Nancy