My daughter Brenda Glascott, Ph.D.
I recently returned from a visit with my only child, my daughter Brenda, who lives across the continent from me in California.
We spent a lot of time sitting and talking, time that was precious for us all. We talked about a range of topics and reminisced a little.
One night, as my husband and I drove back to our hotel, it occurred to me that visiting our daughter always makes me feel proud of her. I see a very competent young woman who is intellectually curious, who cares about the students she teaches, and who works hard all the time. Seeing her in the cozy home she and her partner have created, I realize how well she copes with many challenges. I know that we are fortunate to have a daughter like Brenda, one who is independent, true to herself and passionate about life.
The last afternoon we spent together, she asked a question that caught me unaware.
“Do you tell your friends that you are proud of me?” she asked.
It made me think—having a child with a doctorate isn’t something that you can work into everyday conversation.
“Oh, did I mention that my daughter’s Ph.D. is in English?” isn’t a conversation starter.
And it’s really hard to pull out photos of her degree hanging on the wall of her office that overlooks the San Bernardino Mountains. Showing people photos of her teaching a graduate level composition class doesn’t have the same cachet as photos of the adorable grandchild taking his/her first step.
In addition to that, I make a point of not bragging about my family—although I could very easily.
Brenda’s question made me think.
I read an article a few years ago about adult children in therapy. These adults were trying to resolve their feelings about whether or not their parents really loved them. Imagine a man or woman into their senior years wondering, did my parents love me? It seemed very sad.
So, I have always made it a point to tell my daughter that I love her—as does her father. It is part of our conversation. And we mean those words.
But now I wonder if I ever told her in a concrete way, that yes, I am proud of her.
So this is for Brenda.
I am proud of my daughter Brenda and all that she has accomplished in her life. I am proud to be her mother. And I am blessed to have her in my life.
You have an excellent point about expressing our feelings for those dear to us. I’m glad that you and your daughter have a close relationship.
Thanks, Ginger
Thanks, mom.
I’m proud of you too!
Love
b
Right back at cha! XXOO
Beautiful and good advice. I always have made a point to tell my boys how very proud I am of them and how they have grown into wonderful men; caring fathers and husbands for their families!!
Marsha
This is a note for Brenda,,,,,,,,,I can tell you that “YES”, your mom has spoken to me about you and “YES” she is very proud of you and Loves you very much. I would have loved to have had you as my daughter,,,,,,,,,,but five brothers, two sons and one grandson later,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,what more can i say except I tell my boys all the time I love them and I hope they know i mean that from my heart………..
How beautifully you expressed your feelings Kathy. I have just the one child too, a son and last month it was my baby boy’s 40th birthday! I too make a point of telling him that I love him and am proud of him, but with his birthday card I also included a letter expressing how I feel. I also included my wishes for him as he continues his life’s path. He told me he really appreciated the letter and I am sure that your open letter to your daughter is something she will treasure.
Thanks. I hope that you and your son have many happy times in the future.
Kathy, you are an incredibe writer. Your thoughts, loves and passion for life and for all around you is so well expressed.
Thanks, Barb. Please spread the word about my blog.
ditto, Barbara’s comment!
I appreciate your comments, Barb.
Although I do not have any children I always make it a point of letting my SISTER know how much I Love Her and Miss her too. I also let my BROTHER know the same. Kathy keep up the good work.
Thanks. I am happy to hear from you.
This is the first time I have ever seen a picture of Brenda. What a lovely “colleen” she is! I can see her Mom and Dad in her impish expression! I am proud to know Brenda if only through what you share about her with me! You know my feeling Kathy about family. They are the most importannt people in my life! I am proud of all the little things they do as much as the big. Brenda has done SO many things in her life so far, that PROUD may not be big enough! Congratulations to Mom and Dad!
Thanks, Lucy. I know we both share the value of loving family.
Just perfect. Life is too short….always tell the ones you love how important they are to you and your life….family is everything!
Dear Brenda,
As beautifully as your mom writes, I don’t think there are adequate words that say how very proud of you she is. She always speaks of you in glowing terms, not just for your accomplishments, but also for the wonderful person you are. I also have daughters, and find I tell others how proud I am before I say it to them!
Thank you from both of us.
Kathy
Just read what you wrote and look forward to the updates. We can never tell our children, too often, how proud we are of them. Having watched Brenda grow up I know how her mother feels about her!
Sandi
Welcome to my blog Sandi. We had so much fun back in Buffalo with the kids! Thanks.
Hi Kathy:
I knew you were a great person, but didn’t know about your wonderful talent. I will read through some of your other articles when I catch up on all my other e-mail. Being without a computer for a few weeks really creates a challenge.
I read this article because I also feel family is most important. You certainly have a right to be proud of your daughter. She’s acomplished a lot and I can tell by her picture that she’s not only beautiful, but I can see by her eyes that she is a fun person.
I have a daughter, a son, & a step-son – all are married and have great spouses. Each couple have two children and every time we talk (which is often), we always end our conversations by saying we love each other. It’s so important to share our feelings with the ones we love. I’m also very proud of them.
Take care and stay happy,
Alice
Thank you so very much, Alice. My daughter is a fun person–and she has given me and her Dad great joy.
Thanks for sharing about your family–they sound great! Aren’t we fortunate?
Please come back and check my blog every Tuesday and Friday for new posts.
And let otheres know, too!! Thanks!
Just so your daughter knows, I have never heard you say the words, but I have never had any doubt about how proud you are of her. It is inherent in how happy you are every time you are going to see her, and in how openly and earnestly you speak about her life. She need have no concerns.
These messages mean a lot to both my daughter and me. Thanks,